Anyone here date someone with BPD?

[afm199]

Yah she was. Funny thing is when I first met her she had this really super innocent look to her. In fact, part of the reason why I was so into her was because I thought "gee, finally found someone who looks like the most drama free person I've met in a while..."

Part of me thinks she was with me out of fear of being abandoned or just alone. Part of me wanted to stay with her because Im sort of in the same boat (being alone) but also because I dreaded going to back to online dating if I decided to leave her. There's alot more to this story I'm leaving out, but needless to say my efforts to assist her were fruitless. Its now dealing with the guilt that Im leaving her like this that I have to face now.

Better to feel guilty than wake up to someone banging on your front door at 3 AM, crying and screaming, and letting them in the house.

 

[aminalmutha]

I would also like to add after all this time she finds me untrustworthy and accuses me for so "for checking out other girls".

Despite repeated assurances that I wasn't cheating on her or of the such. I just bought us tickets to Hamilton and introduced you to some of my closest friends for beer and pizza. Why would you still find me untrustworthy at this point!?

Run. Far and fast.


As others have stated, I dunno if this is BPD. I'm not a shrink and there's not enough info beyond "moody". But the hyper jealousy? GTFO. Moody is one thing, controlling and abusive are so much more.

 

[Melissa]

I'm trying to understand the topic of this thread.
BPD is generally indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (a challenge of attachment) while Bi Polar Disorder is diagnosed as Bi Polar Disorder I or Bi Polar Disorder II.(polarities of mania and depression)

DSM IV TR has been replaced with DSM 5 and there are no longer 5 axis but instead many illnesses are viewed on a continuum.

Diagnosing self/others can be a fun yet challenging task.
I'd say be very careful. Of course, have fun!

 

[amazighlol]

I'm trying to understand the topic of this thread.
BPD is generally indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (a challenge of attachment) while Bi Polar Disorder is diagnosed as Bi Polar Disorder I or Bi Polar Disorder II.(polarities of mania and depression)

DSM IV TR has been replaced with DSM 5 and there are no longer 5 axis but instead many illnesses are viewed on a continuum.

Diagnosing self/others can be a fun yet challenging task.
I'd say be very careful. Of course, have fun!

Both are close in the symptoms, but the triggers are differents.

 

[Melissa]

Both are close in the symptoms, but the triggers are differents.

In my experience both can seem similar to one another yet diagnosing and treating individuals with either of these mental health challenges remains different to a large degree.

At the end of the day being someone with mental health challenges creates the potential of experiencing relationship challenges. We hope for the best as do our partners!

 

[m_asim]

Folks with BPD never get better. It is a disease that can be managed, but she will never be free of it.

Her perceptions and reactions are not founded in reality. Nothing you are doing is the problem.

If you stay with her you would have to accept this.

This. I have a friend who suffers from BPD. Nicest guy I have ever known but his gf broke up with him as she couldn't handle his mood swings

 

[bojangle]

Who cares what "conditions " she may have?

The behavior is intolerable.

Get out now.:afm199

This! ^^^

IMO, she uses guilt/shame as a weapon. BPD has nothing to do with it.

Her "moodiness" is her way of controlling you. The kinder and more attentive you are, the more she will use it. Eventually, she will hate you for it and start cheating.
Although, she probably already has if she is accusing you of it.

I watched my mother and sister both do this to many men throughout their life. The only men they ever respected where the big time lying cheaters.

Still boggles my mind after all these years.

I'd say this is a fairly strong possibility.

 

[JMack]

Could also just be BAD ATTITUDE DISORDER.

Like others have said, RUN!

Life is too short.

 

[Agent Orange]

Well looks like she just dropped off a hand written letter along with some pictures of me I took for her at a wedding. I'll admit, it got to me. I really want closure on this. But Im afraid that if I respond itll open the door and she might show back up at my place next weekend thinking I still want to rekindle the relationship.

I hate that I have to behave like this in order to send a message.


edit: I burned the letter, cried it all out and decided to stick to my guns.

 

[Blankpage]

Time to hit the Sierras for a motorcycle trip. I forget all stresses while riding.

 

[MikeyRocks]

Yup. Ended badly, with suicide threats, and threats to ruin my life, and a bunch of drama that went on for months. Stay faaaaaaaaar away. Sex was great though, which is probably the only positive thing I can say about that experience. It's sad that people have to live their lives with that condition, but it's not your problem to deal with.

 

[Ogier le Danois]

I'm trying to understand the topic of this thread.
BPD is generally indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (a challenge of attachment) while Bi Polar Disorder is diagnosed as Bi Polar Disorder I or Bi Polar Disorder II.(polarities of mania and depression)

DSM IV TR has been replaced with DSM 5 and there are no longer 5 axis but instead many illnesses are viewed on a continuum.

Diagnosing self/others can be a fun yet challenging task.
I'd say be very careful. Of course, have fun!

Are psychs still using IV?

All the Consultative Exams I see still have the 5 axis diagnosis. Oddly I can't recall if they state DSM IV or V. I've reviewed a CE conducted as recently as 4/30 that had the 5 Axis listed.

My work doesn't require much working knowledge, rather it is simply to categorize based on the diagnosis for programmatic purposes.

 

[asthmodeus]

bpd? no, but i'm an npd that prefers women with hpd and/or hpv, exclusively.

 

[KittenMeat]

Are psychs still using IV?

All the Consultative Exams I see still have the 5 axis diagnosis. Oddly I can't recall if they state DSM IV or V. I've reviewed a CE conducted as recently as 4/30 that had the 5 Axis listed.

My work doesn't require much working knowledge, rather it is simply to categorize based on the diagnosis for programmatic purposes.

social worker? I love you folks to death. seriously.

A lot of psychiatrists are still clinging to the DSM IV. Officially, some major institutions are finally losing the DSM IV nomenclature.
That being said, the DSM V was not the exciting paradigm shift many had hoped for. A good psychiatrist once advised me that the DSM was really a book of medical coding and categorization, but that the reality of the practice existed far beyond the bounds of the DSM, and that you merely had to know it in order to support the specific treatment that a patient required (at least that's what I came to understand in working with him. He had trained in the UK after first training in medicine abroad)


I'm also confused by this thread as talking about bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
bipolar disorder is fairly straightforward to treat, and the side effects of the medication are hardly unbearable (in fact, one of the more popular ones is used to treat people with varying levels of seizure disorders like epilepsy.

Borderline personality disorder, on the other hand, is an incredibly fascinating diagnosis which initially was entirely based in the psychoanalytic paradigm, and only recently has been touched by the advanced imaging and brain receptor modeling from neuroscience. That being said, therapy works quite well at retraining the brain, and there are, despite objections from other physicians, a host of psychopharmacological options which can be very effective.


I worked at an emergent treatment facility earlier this year that still had the DSM IV forms around just because it was easier for many to use. Shedding the Axial approach was an interesting decision, and I think it has a broader effect of avoiding stereotyping and stigma from the bottom up.

 

[Melissa]

The job I currently have insisted that DSM 5 be used as of April of this year. I do miss the 5 axis system but oh well, change is inevitable in the field.

Dr. Cat-I believe that SSDI and the wonderful insurance system fuckery currently relies on DSM 5. I believe that the old forms will be around for a long time but the current bureaucracy will be pushing back.

 

[planegray]

Well looks like she just dropped off a hand written letter along with some pictures of me I took for her at a wedding. I'll admit, it got to me. I really want closure on this. But Im afraid that if I respond itll open the door and she might show back up at my place next weekend thinking I still want to rekindle the relationship.

I hate that I have to behave like this in order to send a message.


edit: I burned the letter, cried it all out and decided to stick to my guns.

You did good :thumbup


( I was in a relationship with a bipolar gal for 10yrs )

 

[amazighlol]

You did good :thumbup


( I was in a relationship with a bipolar gal for 10yrs )

What was the takeaway?

 

[planegray]

What was the takeaway?

It's damn tough !

She left me. We tried, we really did. I've got to be honest though, taking her to the E.R. every few months for her suicide attempts, the self cutting, and never knowing when the next emotional bomb was going to drop really had me twisted up emotionally and functionally.

My best advice is to do a lot of research.... I really liked a technique I learned (from a book) that said to treat the emotional problems like a separate entity in the relationship. That way you ( royal "you" ) can both talk about the problems without getting defensive.... and also be able to talk about yourselves without the complications of the cycling emotions.

edit: Also.. if you're one of those lucky people who can find Meds that help ... THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS ! (that's not the case for everyone )

 

[amazighlol]

Interesting. I learned that the worst thing to do is to position yourself as a rescuer.

 

[planegray]

Interesting. I learned that the worst thing to do is to position yourself as a rescuer.

agree

If you're living with someone who's bipolar, it affects both members of the relationship though... and coping skills are necessary :thumbup

edit: you can't really effectively ignore the emotional problems... they are always "the elephant in the room"