Yes, I was always planning to come back here, and come back as myself. It doesn't matter if you believe that or not.
And yet here you are, explaining yourself to me so that i can understand your position, and feel empathy. methinks it does matter...
Having people create accounts on another website simply to carry out the function of sending someone a message of emotion is very, Cold Shower like. How can someone be outed if they never posted anything but zx-10r information and related on a zx-10r site? I'll be posting there as always since everyone I know there said, "who cares?" and now I'll be posting here as I've wanted to for a long time. No, there are no coincidences, and when someone takes the time to find another "Feanor" on a motorcycle website to say "hello" why shouldn't I say "hello" back?
You didn't come in to say hello, you came in to explain why what you did is ok, and that it's our fault as much as yours.
Thank you for posting excerpts of Jocelyn's thoughts, it always reminds me of the woman who spoke that way.
I knew that there would be support as well as derision in posting here again, it was the reason I started posting here since the beginning. The insults are expected, it's the postings of support that actually hurt me the most because those are the connections where I broke a trust that has come to matter to me.
Apology? Aren't those just words? The woman who is Jocelyn in the story said to me once, "...don't apologize, just change who you are so the apology isn't necessary"
Some said that I was driven away and would never return, and I have, then they said i was never in an accudent, and I was, then they said I would never apologize, and I have, and now the apology isn't enough penance...
Please tell me when you think I've suffered the right amount. It's said "boohoo, barf made you lie" as if this is nothing, and then you take the lie and say it is...
I won't apologize twice, that would disrespect the magnitude of the responsibility I feel to make amends for all of it.
I taught my children that to apologize with a caveat is not an apology, merely a platform for excuses. Did you not have a compassionate father when you were growing up?
Why muddy the forums here with public anger? If you want to discuss anything or vent your frustrations just pm me and we can meet somewhere you choose. What should I fear from doing this? I've had my back broken, and had to pay money for the experience...
why muddy the forums here with your lies and fabrications? apparently teh barf is (was) your personal plaything, with you attempting to control perception of you. the "anger" (really, to be fair, its more of a sense of betrayal than outright 'anger') is a natural progression of the emotions that you played with for what, six years? you ask people to become emotionally involved with your life, and then you innocently ask why they might be a bit put off by your duplicity?
If you simply dislike me for your own insurmountable reasons, then that is my loss... And a significant one for me.
insurmountable? what a fucking crock. i don't give two shits about you, bro. i think that you have played your hand, and lost. and now you're back, acting as if everyone should hold out their arms for a returning hero? writing style aside, you're just another screen name to me, with a bit more history than most.
David
What penance do you require? Because I can't understand
no penance required. but just as i can see when my daughters are apologizing solely to quell the discussion, your "apology" reeks of self righteous indignation at being cast in the light of a tool. you try to obfuscate the damage done by using your firm grasp of an impressive vocabulary, while desparately attempting to color new readers a shade of reluctant aquiescence.
i'll not follow you around, disproving every post you make, or cajoling others to dislike you. and truth be told, you lie very well. you'd probably make a hell of a wing man for a single fella like myself. but i'd always be a bit leery of what you might be telling the chickies while i was in the restroom, takin a piss.....