What did we get stuck in our rectums last year?

NorCalAthlete

NorCalAthlete

O_o
YEAR IN REVIEW : What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

Look, I get it. I do. You’re stuck inside. It’s cold and dark outside. You’re bored. That vaguely cylindrical object is calling to you. But resist! There are many things out there are specifically designed for you to self-insert. There are many, many more that aren’t, yet still end up inside America’s holes. This annual post honors the latter. Consider it a PSA, and reconsider that object; aren’t our doctors and nurses busy enough these days?

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and hey don’t put that in there, you might lose it.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:
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littlebeast

littlebeast

get it while it's easy
i feel a little weird saying this but 2020 was a great year for me. it validated (or rather provided cover for) my antisocial tendencies. i dug in, nested - and went all ‘hermit’ without having to explain or apologize for it. and the few times going out in public - wearing a mask - without having to explain that either...just seemed like the cherry on top.
 
W800

W800

Noob
That was a fun read. I like how people try and say they were drunk, or it was an accident. "Yea, I accidentally rammed this toy shark up my ass, not sure how that happened, Doctor!"

Was not a fun year for me. Part of what I do involves delivering services to people who are impacted by the pandemic. Many people are suffering in so many ways.
 
afm199

afm199

Well-known member
littlebeast said:
i feel a little weird saying this but 2020 was a great year for me. it validated (or rather provided cover for) my antisocial tendencies. i dug in, nested - and went all ‘hermit’ without having to explain or apologize for it. and the few times going out in public - wearing a mask - without having to explain that either...just seemed like the cherry on top.
Click to expand...

But the rectum?
 
bojangle

bojangle

FN # 40
Staff member
littlebeast said:
i feel a little weird saying this but 2020 was a great year for me. it validated (or rather provided cover for) my antisocial tendencies. i dug in, nested - and went all ‘hermit’ without having to explain or apologize for it. and the few times going out in public - wearing a mask - without having to explain that either...just seemed like the cherry on top.
Click to expand...

That's awesome, but we really need to stay on topic here. Soooo, what got stuck, and where? :p
 
Blankpage

Blankpage

alien
I suspect waiting in the emergency room line is one of those pivotal moments where you reflect on decisions you’ve made and things you’re gonna change going forward.
 
afm199

afm199

Well-known member
Blankpage said:
I suspect waiting in the emergency room line is one of those pivotal moments where you reflect on decisions you’ve made and things you’re gonna change going forward.
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I was walking backward and tripped and landed on that bowling pin.
 
900ss

900ss

Well-known member
I did a 20 mile ride in and around San Francisco today with my wife, and nothing ended up in my posterior, except maybe some fog. I did have gas however, and did take a leak at Fort Point. Intestinal gas equals positive pressure.

My rectum was firmly in my possession the whole time. There was one fleeting moment however, when I heard a strange brief whistle or whine, whilst riding over the Golden Gate Bridge to Fort Baker. Hmm, I will need to report back on this, as this evening at home has thus far been uneventful.

It was a beautiful day, albeit foggy. I have pictures.... Oh, and the fish and chips at The Codmother is most excellent, as are the fish tacos. Try them, you won't be sorry.

Is any of this relevant to this discussion? :ride
 
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SM610

SM610

Well-known member
Climber said:
This one was cringe worthy:
“3 WEEKS AGO HE WAS DRUNK AND PUT A LIGHT BULB UP HIS RECTUM.”

This one I think was a case like back in the 30's and 40's where women went to the doctor to get masturbated with an electric vibrator for 'hysteria' and other conditions. :laughing

“WAS INTOXICATED & IS UNCERTAIN IF SHE USED HER ANAL BEADS OR NOT, CANT FIND THEM @ HOME […] NONE FOUND IN ER EXAM”
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Ive looked for my car keys in some unususal places, but it never occured to me to look in my ass until this thread.

"Honey, the keys are missing again!"
Oh for fucks sake! At least look in your pants pocket first this time!"
 
Eldritch

Eldritch

is insensitive
So, I can't believe it took this long, for y'all but I cannot be the only only recoiling in horror in the "STUFF YOU JAMMED IN YOUR PEEN" section.
 
NorCalAthlete

NorCalAthlete

O_o
Eldritch said:
So, I can't believe it took this long, for y'all but I cannot be the only only recoiling in horror in the "STUFF YOU JAMMED IN YOUR PEEN" section.
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Most definitely did at the metal screw. Most sounding implements are at least smooth and designed for such activities.
 
Bay Arean

Bay Arean

Well-known member
Eldritch said:
So, I can't believe it took this long, for y'all but I cannot be the only only recoiling in horror in the "STUFF YOU JAMMED IN YOUR PEEN" section.
Click to expand...

Oh god yes, you are not alone. I actually typed a reply of this nature but got distracted by work and had to give it up.

Why, why, why...there is zero pleasure principle at work in this regard. Negative from zero. It’s more like a Jackass stunt than some ongoing thing. I hope.
 
Climber

Climber

Well-known member
Eldritch said:
So, I can't believe it took this long, for y'all but I cannot be the only only recoiling in horror in the "STUFF YOU JAMMED IN YOUR PEEN" section.
Click to expand...
:welcome

We had a dude in the KS years ago who did all kinds of things to his penis. :laughing
 
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