Seeing the positive

[Brokenlink]

I don't think their comments were directed at you, but rather at the majority of the population without a clinical diagnosis

Their strategies work for them; that's why they posted them. Maybe they will work for others. If you have tried their strategies and it didn't work, you are free to say as much. Please don't be dismissive of other's coping strategies and discourage sharing, that's not what this thread is about :ride

I'm not being dismissive. If it works for them great. That's not my issue. A lot of things work for a lot of people.

It's the blanket statements like "I made a few points about this subject in the other thread that was closed. My position is that people are much more in control of their " mood" than they give themselves credit for. Some are resistant to this idea, saying that they "cant" change the way they feel. Often the same person will blame others for the way they feel or behave. To me thats the same as saying " im not in control of me, but other people are". You are in control of you if you choose to be. Acting/thinking accordingly may very well be difficult, but its entirely within everyones grasp. "


Call me wrong, but this seems like a blanket statement and it is very dismissive of those that simply cannot fix their chemistry. I didn't take it as directed at me. But it's very indicative of society's attitude towards mental health "Hey, i used to have that same thing. But now I don't. Suck it up, buttercup." It isn't doing anyone a service.

We have had more than one BARFer kill themeselves. it surprises me that the attitude, especially of long-term barfers that remember these people is still "Just be happy".

And I am not at all talking about myself.

 

[Smash Allen]

I'm not being dismissive. If it works for them great. That's not my issue. A lot of things work for a lot of people.

It's the blanket statements like "I made a few points about this subject in the other thread that was closed. My position is that people are much more in control of their " mood" than they give themselves credit for. Some are resistant to this idea, saying that they "cant" change the way they feel. Often the same person will blame others for the way they feel or behave. To me thats the same as saying " im not in control of me, but other people are". You are in control of you if you choose to be. Acting/thinking accordingly may very well be difficult, but its entirely within everyones grasp. "


Call me wrong, but this seems like a blanket statement and it is very dismissive of those that simply cannot fix their chemistry. I didn't take it as directed at me. But it's very indicative of society's attitude towards mental health "Hey, i used to have that same thing. But now I don't. Suck it up, buttercup." It isn't doing anyone a service.

We have had more than one BARFer kill themeselves. it surprises me that the attitude, especially of long-term barfers that remember these people is still "Just be happy".

And I am not at all talking about myself.

I wouldn't call you wrong, but I may call you persistent :laughing

Your point has been well stated, and I believe the 'blanket statements' in question have been acknowledged as not applying to those with diagnoses.

To keep harping on them is effectively shouting down the thread at this point, so I will kindly ask that you stop

 

[HappyHighwayman]

I had a similar situation with my camp bully but ended very differently. He was a total shit at 13 and treated me badly but we were THIRTEEN. 20 years later he's engaged to my buddy's smoking hot sister and working in his richie rich family business when I spot him in a chromed hummer and he says "Hey Jordan how's it going?"

And frankly...I just wasn't mad anymore. He seems to be totally different. He has a kid that's friends with my nephew. I felt much better realizing I wasn't upset anymore.

 

[aminalmutha]

I once found myself working in the town where my former stepfather and abuser of my siblings and I had moved when my mom left him (three states away.) I went to visit to make sure he fell down some stairs. Repeatedly and with vigor. When I got there, I found a lonely, bitter old drunk who, if he did fall down some stairs, would likely die from it. Instead I left him to the company of Evan Williams and cirrhosis without ever telling him who I was, just that I'd knocked on the wrong door.

I like to think that makes me better than he is or was, but I'm probably full of shit. Who knows. All I know is that he'll never drag an 8 year old up a flight of stairs by the arm so violently that their shoulder dislocates ever again, so I'm fine with that.

As to OP's question, I work on that every day. Twisties take the focus and keep me from thinking about anything else, so I do a lot of riding. I find hugging people I care about makes me happy, so I try to do that a lot too.

Karl Childers?

 

[Brokenlink]

I wouldn't call you wrong, but I may call you persistent :laughing

Your point has been well stated, and I believe the 'blanket statements' in question have been acknowledged as not applying to those with diagnoses.

To keep harping on them is effectively shouting down the thread at this point, so I will kindly ask that you stop

Fair enough. Carry on.

 

[HappyHighwayman]

Right now my lack of happiness is derived from my thoughts being at odd with most people's. like I am trying my best at work but the culture is clearly one of no change so I get in trouble for doing my best

 

[byke]

All you have to do is release the good..

 

[Smash Allen]

Right now my lack of happiness is derived from my thoughts being at odd with most people's. like I am trying my best at work but the culture is clearly one of no change so I get in trouble for doing my best

I'm sorry to hear that Life is too short to stay stuck in a toxic culture at work if you can help it. From your posts you sound like you have some highly in-demand skills, have you thought of 'shopping' yourself around? When's the last time you changed companies?

 

[Climber]

I'm sorry to hear that Life is too short to stay stuck in a toxic culture at work if you can help it. From your posts you sound like you have some highly in-demand skills, have you thought of 'shopping' yourself around? When's the last time you changed companies?

Agree. Years ago I made a promise to myself after working in an environment where the manager was a major league asshole that I'd never subject myself to that kind of shit again. At the time, I was taking classes to make a career move, so I wasn't in a position to make a move yet. But, I've lived by that ever since. I could have made a lot more $$$$ by sticking in shitty positions, but it's not worth it to me. Life is too short to put up with BS on a daily basis, I'd rather hold my head up and do the things I want to do.

I have this theory (totally unproven, but fuck it, this is my theory) that we biologically have a trigger that indicates that we're not worth keeping around if we go years living with resentment and that leads to getting something that shortens our life like cancer. I've seen too many people who have had a rough period who came down with cancer to totally discount the possibility. I know that cancer is an opportunistic disease and most often strikes people when they are down. I have an ex who has had cancer 4 times and each time she caught it was about 6 months after going through a very tough episode in her life.

 

[Eldritch]

A recently-closed thread had some good thoughts on perspectives and I would like to see a continuation here in this thread.

How do you choose to see the positive in your day to day life?

Positive statements only please. This is meant to be a thread to prompt the sharing of your own 'strategy' so that others may benefit from your positive world view.

I have included a quote from another member whose strategy very closely follows my own.



This is a strategy that requires daily conscious effort from me, however the results have been tangible and long lasting.

There were several other great strategies posted and I hope they find their way into this thread as well!

You are kind, smart, and important; how do you see the positive?

You simply MUST develop the ability to enjoy the little things. Brief moments of simple joy. Look, watch, listen, pay attention to the world and there are so many cool things happening all the time.

See with your eyes and not your emotions, and you will find the feels you are looking for.

 

[Godsdarling]

So many people filled with angst. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Took mom to the doctor yesterday for her cortisone shot. On our way home they closed the road as there was an accident. People were upset honking and flipping off others, it was crazy. I smiled and said to my mom we were going to take the scenic route on a road I ride my bike on.

She was impressed as it has amazing views and fun turns.

You decide if you are going to smile and enjoy the extra hour it took to get home or be mad. Which is going to make you feel better? Find other options to getting upset.

 

[Removed 3]

When a person posts about an issue they're having, the natural response usually from the audience is what works for them. Try something (a positive habit) and build on it sounds pretty reasonable.

If the advice on this and on that closed thread does not help or is perceived as not remotely relevant, then the question to ask is, what is it that you want or expect from the audience? A "me too, I'm in the same boat"? Sympathy?

If you have a good job, you're good at what you do for a living , you live where you want to live, your home is filled with things you love, you can afford to do what you want on your spare time, on good days you can appreciate your friends and neighbors, but you still have nagging depression?


Because if the issue is a chemical imbalance then consulting a medical professional who can perform the tests to pinpoint the problem and can suggest a menu of treatment options is the step in the right direction.

 

[HappyHighwayman]

I think getting over the small stuff is do-able it's the big stuff

 

[Smash Allen]

Great contributions of strategies, thank you all for sharing

When I start feeling the world shrinking in on me and the related anxiety sets in it helps to reaffirm my perspective.

I am fortunate to live in this city, state, and country.

I am fortunate to have family and friends.

I am fortunate to be gainfully employed.

I am fortunate to have use of my arms and legs.

I am fortunate to be able to help those that may not share in my fortunes.

 

[tuxumino]

I think there was a time when a person was allowed melancholy, but no longer. Now everyone must be happy all the time, pop psychology and new age bullshit demands you be happy. Fuck that shit, some of the best art and literature came from "depressed" people. Revel in your depression, celebrate it as a condition of humanity; express it in art and literature. No it won't make you situation better but it will enrich humanity.

 

[Izzy_C]

>Now everyone must be happy all the time

I think it's not that, people don't understand what happiness is.

The dopamine kick you get when your latest IG photo gets a thousand likes isn't real happiness...

If people believe that is happiness, it's no wonder that brief and temporary social isolation is "depression".

I think we as a culture are slowly forgetting the art of being alone but not lonely. When attention and loneliness allieving communication is only a few taps on your phone away...

I don't mean to sound like I'm gate-keeping.

 

[Eldritch]

I think getting over the small stuff is do-able it's the big stuff

Death is always an option, take comfort in that there is always an out. Large or small, problems will arise and be defeated or not. All things pass in time and our existence is meaningless. Many great things happen every day. View and appreciate them if you seek joy. They are all around you.

 

[littlebeast]

Right now my lack of happiness is derived from my thoughts being at odd with most people's. like I am trying my best at work but the culture is clearly one of no change so I get in trouble for doing my best

if your work environment is toxic to your personal well-being, please consider removing yourself from it and finding a position with a company who’s culture is more suitable to you. take the step of putting your CV out there and aggressively pursuing any and all opportunities. i have three close friends who went through this recently, with awesome results (talent is at a premium right now - so strike while the iron is hot).

on another note, you seem like a ‘seeker’ to me. and also a person who wears their heart on their sleeve, and has high expectations WRT interpersonal relationships and situations. my advice to you is to follow your heart. ‘what comes next’ will only happen if you keep ‘seeking’ it, and accept nothing less than what your heart truly desires. listen to your intuition babe. i know you’ve got it in you

 

[HappyHighwayman]

if your work environment is toxic to your personal well-being, please consider removing yourself from it and finding a position with a company who’s culture is more suitable to you. take the step of putting your CV out there and aggressively pursuing any and all opportunities. i have three close friends who went through this recently, with awesome results (talent is at a premium right now - so strike while the iron is hot).

on another note, you seem like a ‘seeker’ to me. and also a person who wears their heart on their sleeve, and has high expectations WRT interpersonal relationships and situations. my advice to you is to follow your heart. ‘what comes next’ will only happen if you keep ‘seeking’ it, and accept nothing less than what your heart truly desires. listen to your intuition babe. i know you’ve got it in you

You're right I'm kind of an idealist, but also a cynic.

Thank you.

 

[chrisweir.com]

So much love here.
:teeth :thumbup