Imagine this…
It’s Sunday morning. You roll out of bed and meander to the bathroom to take your morning piss.
But when you open the door, you see your startled roommate standing over the sink, naked.
If only it were as simple as walking in on him masturbating. No. This was far weirder.
My roommate was blow drying his ballsack.
At first I thought he had finished a shower and chose a weird method of drying off. No. This was far weirder.
I see a puddle of wax underneath him.
ME: What are you doing?
HIM: Uh…
I leave. I didn’t want to see his bulbous naked body anymore.
Later that day he explains to me what happened…
He stumbled into some fundraiser party that was raising money for starving children in the third world. At the party, some guy was letting people take strips of hot wax, put it on his hairy chest, and rip it off. People were paying a few dollars a strip to watch this guy wince in pain.
Apparently, most of the people at the party were sober. My roommate was sloshed. He wasn’t even invited to this party. But he took it upon himself to “outdo” the guy at the front.
My roommate shouts, “That’s nothing! This guy’s a pussy!”
He must have gotten some weird looks, but not enough to deter him.
He persisted, “For $100 I’ll wax my balls!”
Women in that audience gasped. One shouted, “Ewww…I don’t want to see that…”
As my roommate grabbed the wax, people awkwardly shuffled away.
Not noticing, my roommate proceeded to smother his balls in hot wax.
When he noticed his audience was gone, he didn’t have the motivation to tear off the strips, so he zipped his pants back up.
Supposedly he passed out soon after that in these people’s backyard, woke up Sunday morning, and walked home. He then realized the wax had cooled and was stuck all over his balls.
He googled, “how to get hot wax off your balls”.
Then decided on the blow drying method.
Which I unfortunately had to witness.
