What is it about Shared Hardship that Bonds People Together?

[greggargubby]

In your experience, what is it about shared hardship that creates bonds between people? Empathy? Respect? A shared experience and understanding of challenges endured together?

 

[V4]

tragedy reminds us we're humans...

complacency makes us happy as assholes...

 

[greggargubby]

tragedy reminds us we're humans.

If you only knew.

 

[TheBoatDude]

I'd go with empathy: You and I are dealing with the same shit and I know how much this sucks, so I have a pretty damn good idea of what you're having to deal with, too.

Also, I think the empathy is a way we connect with each other. For the six or so months after 9/11, we all sort of got along and checked in on one another: "How ya doin'? You OK? You hanging on?". Of course, then the empathy ran out, there was a collective "Fuck this" and we all went back to scratching, biting and hair-pulling.

 

[Abyss]

When you are forced to work together, you realize how much more satisfying it is to overcome obstacles through unity and empathy.

However, everyone in this society is a shitbag who only cares about "their people" and fuck everyone else.

 

[stoltzf4]

Today you, tomorrow me.

 

[CrazyGenius]

Understanding & appreciation of human empathy & compassion. It's human nature to bond with those who shared hardship with us because we now all realize that we had & could endure some bad together and we came out better because of that common experience. We understand & appreciate each other better.

9/11, natural disasters, political life changing events, war atrocities.... can cause such empathy & mutual understanding & respect.

 

[sanjuro]

In comparison I saw this FB status:

The earthquake wasn't nearly as cataclysmic as the media is portraying it to be. It was a minor annoyance that woke up everyone in the bay area. It was neat talking to coworkers, all of which were waken at 3am by the brief shaking. All the damage was done to historic buildings that should have been condemned anyway. Every unreinforced building in a seismically active area should be red tagged. Earthquakes don't kill people. Bad engineering does.

I lived in New Orleans and I evacuated from a Cat IV hurricane. It diminished to Cat III when it made landfall and it was an inconvenience for me, even though in the Caribbean, many people died.

So when Katrina happened a few years later, I understood the suffering of my friends who still lived there.

 

[Human Ills]

What better judge of character and perseverance and dedication and loyalty is there?

 

[Nitewaif]

Hardship reminds us of how, despite all our advances, we're still very vulnerable and fragile, and that human connection is all we really have. Luxury and comfort insulate us from those thoughts and allow us to turn our attention to building our little personal empires again.

 

[NorCalAthlete]

Funny you started this thread. I'm on the phone with a buddy from my old unit - and I have class in 5 hours. we've been on the phone for 2 now. He posted up a status on facebook that worried me a bit, I messaged him within a minute of posting it, he said call him so I did.

 

[DrSwade]

If you share the experience it would be sympathy...just sayin'

I think this is why military fraternity bonds are so strong.
I have yet to find o a bond that goes deeper than my shipmates, soldiers, RAAFys and Diggers.

 

[oobus]

Perspective.

There are some things in life that can not be understood unless you lived thru it.

 

[MrIncredible]

Perspective.

There are some things in life that can not be understood unless you lived thru it.

Yes, and it also makes you look at people who lack it all :wtf

 

[greggargubby]

I think this is why military fraternity bonds are so strong.

This is part of why I asked the question. I'm the type to question authority and absolutely not trust it. At all. Ever. Which is why the military was never an option for me. And in this regard, I think that's a loss. The subject has been on my mind for a while for a few reasons, mostly because I'm such a loner I wonder if I'm even capable of that kind of a relationship (no, that's not some poorly-vieled cry for help, I just prefer being alone).

And then yesterday I went on a group ride, which is a rarity for me. This was the second time since moving here six years ago. And we had a bit of an incident. Not a big deal, nobody went down. One rider connected with a deer and broke his hand (dude throws one Hell of a right cross--damn near killed the deer in one punch).

Anyway, I don't really have a point, I guess. I realize it was just bad luck with some wildlife, but it was just so weirdly-timed.

 

[DrSwade]

No point required in the 'Sink.

I believe that you can be a free thinker in the military although it is a rough road. No one ever called me stupid, conformist or a sheep, but I didn't have the greatest experience until I went into a community with dynamic, free thinkers with amazing analytical skills. I doubt there was an IQ under 135 amongst my counterparts.

Then I went back to the BIG Navy for a couple of years and remembered why I moved out of the "Fleet".

The guy hitting a deer reminds me of a buddy in Ohio who a few years ago was hit by a deer while riding his quad to go hunting. The deer jumped the road and it hit him!
My buddy got messed up but the deer died almost instantly.
I have always called this guy "Howard the Barbarian" because of his brute strength and callousness. He is also one of my most dear (no pun intended) friends. The real deal!