EDIT: this post is 100% satire, although much is factual, based on some memorable (in my mind) BARF threads and themes, and inspired by reviewers that called my new 700 a beginner's bike. I should have waited till April 1st to post it...
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It recently struck me that I've never owned a bike that wasn't considered a beginner's bike in some way.
In 10+ years, it's been a Yamaha 250, G650GS, CB500X, (Street 750), F700GS.
Every single one has been called an 'entry-level' bike by somebody in the moto press.
So what do I have to buy that isn't a 'beginner's' bike? Is it just a conspiracy to get me to buy bigger and bigger bikes, a fool and his money and all that?
Or, I could just buy an R6, but it's a girl's bike ya' know...
So I am getting the impression that anything less than a liter bike is a beginner's bike in some people's minds.
But I've even heard some liter bikes classed as docile, beginner friendly, etc... So maybe I should buy a 'beginner's' liter bike, what the hay, but that doesn't solve the problem.
I've never seen a bike marketed as a macho man's (or women's for that matter), beginners stay away from this, bike made for immortals only, cuz everyone else will die riding it.
So, maybe I should just give up, I can make a pretty good case I really am just a beginner:
I mean really, I've never been on a track, or offroad, or taken anything beyond BRC. Never been over 100 mph on a bike, although I broke 90 once, no ticket or any proof either.
And my skills suck, I mean I actually rely on ABS and TC from time to time, need much more braking and throttle practice so I don't need those beginner-friendly gizmos any more.
And for some crazy reason (maybe because I'm just a beginner), I mostly stay within the speed limit. 'The pace', seems way too fast for me, I mean cornering fast on public roads is risking your life anyway, so why do that (this is the great unanswered question)? The only times I use significant power are lane splitting (rarely) and freeway on ramps (not so rarely).
And back to my severely limited riding skills, my one and only super-power is reading rush-hour traffic patterns, which doesn't even count as a riding skill, can't use that on a track AFAIK. Shoot, you can use it in a car too, it isn't even moto specific.
And yet, somehow... Still crash-free after 10 yrs of commuting (including 17)... (yeah I know, knock on wood).
So yeah, rank beginner here. Time for some figure 8's in a parking lot (sorry, couldn't resist).
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It recently struck me that I've never owned a bike that wasn't considered a beginner's bike in some way.
In 10+ years, it's been a Yamaha 250, G650GS, CB500X, (Street 750), F700GS.
Every single one has been called an 'entry-level' bike by somebody in the moto press.
So what do I have to buy that isn't a 'beginner's' bike? Is it just a conspiracy to get me to buy bigger and bigger bikes, a fool and his money and all that?
Or, I could just buy an R6, but it's a girl's bike ya' know...
So I am getting the impression that anything less than a liter bike is a beginner's bike in some people's minds.
But I've even heard some liter bikes classed as docile, beginner friendly, etc... So maybe I should buy a 'beginner's' liter bike, what the hay, but that doesn't solve the problem.
I've never seen a bike marketed as a macho man's (or women's for that matter), beginners stay away from this, bike made for immortals only, cuz everyone else will die riding it.
So, maybe I should just give up, I can make a pretty good case I really am just a beginner:
I mean really, I've never been on a track, or offroad, or taken anything beyond BRC. Never been over 100 mph on a bike, although I broke 90 once, no ticket or any proof either.
And my skills suck, I mean I actually rely on ABS and TC from time to time, need much more braking and throttle practice so I don't need those beginner-friendly gizmos any more.
And for some crazy reason (maybe because I'm just a beginner), I mostly stay within the speed limit. 'The pace', seems way too fast for me, I mean cornering fast on public roads is risking your life anyway, so why do that (this is the great unanswered question)? The only times I use significant power are lane splitting (rarely) and freeway on ramps (not so rarely).
And back to my severely limited riding skills, my one and only super-power is reading rush-hour traffic patterns, which doesn't even count as a riding skill, can't use that on a track AFAIK. Shoot, you can use it in a car too, it isn't even moto specific.
And yet, somehow... Still crash-free after 10 yrs of commuting (including 17)... (yeah I know, knock on wood).
So yeah, rank beginner here. Time for some figure 8's in a parking lot (sorry, couldn't resist).
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