Politics

[afm199]

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am."

"You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.

"You must be a Democrat."

"I am. How did you know?"

"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve been no help."

"You must be a Republican."

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You’ve risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."

 

[Cycle61]

Mertzon, TX

:laughing

 

[packnrat]

just like a democrat blame someone else for there own problems, he was told he is of no use and trying to blame a blond and make her think he is her fault.

 

[Beauregard]

FTW best political joke I've ever heard.

 

[frozenduc]

Was a democrat joke but got changed around. Meh. Does describe the dems tho.


Ok, a new one.

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 50th birthday and she was a bit lonely.

She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony, a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a Loonie off his well oiled buttocks.

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call."Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, “Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now.

Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I' m ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

 

[IAmA M0t0r Ridεr]

:laughing:rofl