Maybe I'm done?

D

DReg350

Well-known member
So... long story... last fall... ride... not fun. Counseling, help here, time, more time, I just can't let go. Part of me, a big part, says let it go and go. I try to saddle up and... I just can't do it. I can't ride. I haven't ridden in a year.

I'm not looking for a safe space, a pass, forgiveness... anything. Something though. I missed an opportunity to know a man. I fucked it up. And it haunts me. All the time.

I saw him. I looked at him in the eyes. Last gas stop. He was vaping. Thought about talking, but passed. He was too far across the pavement. It was too hot. I didn't know him. Next stop... he was gone. I hate me for that. Not all mistakes are made in corners. :dunno
 
m0t0_ryder

m0t0_ryder

RYD!
Sorry it's been so tough for you Greg.

Don't hate yourself for missed opportunities.
Embrace the connections made.

How about a "little" bike ride?
I got a TW and a Zuma. Wanna putt some south bay rural roads(?)
 
M

motomania2007

TC/MSF/CMSP/ Instructor
Greg, don't let things like that haunt you. There are 1000s of people you encounter that you could meet and get to know but you don't. That is unreasonable expectation of yourself to expect you can meet everyone.

Yes it is a lost opportunity to get to know someone.

What is much much more important is that you were there for him when he needed it and his family needed it.

Forgive yourself for not being perfect.

We are all flawed.

It is part of being human.

As for riding, you know where I stand on that but riding is a personal thing. If you are done, or you just need a break, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
two wheel tramp

two wheel tramp

exploring!
Greg, we've talked about getting lunch at a rally. Since you haven't been riding you haven't come to one. If you feel like it let's grab a bit sometime. I will ride to you or we can ride together at a super chill pace. Maybe to Gizdich for some pie? Us riders are your community and I want you to remain part of it if you are comfortable doing so. :)
 
budman

budman

General Menace
Staff member
That was a terrible day. Whatever you do you should not beat yourself up over it. IMO you went above and beyond.
You cared, you exposed your heart and in doing that it is scarred.

Yet to me you garnered so much respect from me and thanks from family and friends. You ended up blessed because of your compassion. Is that blessing keeping you from other trouble?? Is it making you closer to your own family. :dunno

If it feels right do it.

If not then don't.

There is joy to be had on two wheels and my guess is that stranger you cared so much about would want you to enjoy what made him smile.
 
GAJ

GAJ

Well-known member
Best not to force yourself to ride if you don't feel "it."

I think I've ridden twice in the last 6 months with yesterday being the second time and it was OK, felt completely natural, but since my bicycle related concussion, (which has completely healed), riding the moto has not given me the same lift I've experienced for the past 40+ years.

As to intervening or second guessing yourself, each and ever time I have personally tried to intervene when someone is clearly doing something that could destroy their lives it has been a complete failure.

And this was with people I'd known for decades.

One cannot assume that had they intervened in a bad situation the outcome would be different.

One has to move on with their own failures, perceived or otherwise.

We owe that to ourselves and to the people around us.

Best of luck to you Greg.

All the best,

Geoff
 
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