Lonster
GaMMa RaNGeR
Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
it was split right up the front
and every time that Mary walked...
but she didn't wear that one very often
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Mary Mary quite contrary,
Trim your minge - it's far too hairy!
There was a young lady from Leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn't for fame
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.
There was a young actress from Crewe
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew
"The Bishop was quicker
And better and slicker
And two inches longer than you."
There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were always quite stable
At every full moon
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.
There was a young plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee
She said "Stop your plumbing
I think someone's coming"
Said the plumber still plumbing "It's me"!
A kinky young girl from near Rhyl
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.
There was a young man from Pitlochrie
Making love to his girl in the rockery
She said "Oy you've come
All over my bum
This isn't a shag it's a mockery".
There was a young girl called Molly
Who fancied a bit in a quarry
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And a driver backed in with a lorry.
There once was a young man from Harrow,
Whose dick was as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart
"Try this for a start
My balls are outside on a barrow"
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
it was split right up the front
and every time that Mary walked...
but she didn't wear that one very often
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Mary Mary quite contrary,
Trim your minge - it's far too hairy!
There was a young lady from Leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn't for fame
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.
There was a young actress from Crewe
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew
"The Bishop was quicker
And better and slicker
And two inches longer than you."
There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were always quite stable
At every full moon
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.
There was a young plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee
She said "Stop your plumbing
I think someone's coming"
Said the plumber still plumbing "It's me"!
A kinky young girl from near Rhyl
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.
There was a young man from Pitlochrie
Making love to his girl in the rockery
She said "Oy you've come
All over my bum
This isn't a shag it's a mockery".
There was a young girl called Molly
Who fancied a bit in a quarry
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And a driver backed in with a lorry.
There once was a young man from Harrow,
Whose dick was as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart
"Try this for a start
My balls are outside on a barrow"