Just wanted to sneak back in and post some fathers day thoughts.

[Valgar]

So I was working late today. In between shitshow fun I realized it was fathers day.

Just wanted to share this before I ghost off again, because I think people, especially young folks need to understand that folks will not be there forever, and they should get that closure whilst they still can. Never hold back telling someone you love them, or why you love them, they may be gone in an instant. People feel invincible in their youth, and forget to tell those around them that they care for them. Don't do that, remind the people close to you that you love them, that you care for them. It may sound like hippie logic, but it isn't. Trust me, I'm an asshole, and the fact that I am saying this makes it that much more important.

Fathers day is this weekend, didn't even really realize it until I saw people posting about it. I was there for the final weeks of his life, got to talk to him, got to cook for him, It was a long three weeks, which culminated with me going into the room, to confirm he was dead.
This man left shoes so big I can never hope to fill them, I can only put on several layers of socks, and hope they don't flop around too much when I walk.
When I was last back in Illinois, I walked into what he called "Area 51" A giant pole-barn that housed tractors, drill-press, welders, tools, etc. It was all how it was when I last visited, I stopped and looked around, seeing things as if he was just outside, all his tools and gear setup the way he liked it. It made him happy, that I was there those last weeks, and was taking care of things, it makes me sad that I had to be there, taking care of things, but it made him happy.
He told me he was proud of me, for what I have done, for the food I cooked for him, and that I was keeping his tractors running. I told him I loved him the night he passed. I can only hope he is riding over a highway made of hipsters on his goldwing now, because he would like that.
I've talked about the whole "middle age man" superhero thing, It never really happened until I was there, helping to take care of my Dad, the guy I would call to ask advice for fixing things, because he could fix anything.
Shortly after he passed, I was dealing with a semi-major household issue, and dealt with it. My first thought was "I should call Dad and let him know how it went" That moment was when I realized I was on my own, the superhero had passed his cape over, and now it was mine to wear.

Those of you that still have fathers around, listen to them, learn from them. They aren't around forever, as much as you wish they would be. Someday they are going to hand that cape over to you, and it is your job to help the next generation learn how to do all the things that you learned.

 

[Hooli]

You're a good man Dave.

 

[Britny]

I'm thankful to have a father like mine. I try not to take him for granted, but when life gets busy it's things like this that bring me back to center and remind me how lucky I am.

Thanks for the reminder :thumbup

 

[originalsturge]

All my life my dad wasn't around much due to work so I don't really know him and he doesn't know me. However in the last 5 years he's done a lot to reach out and get to know me. For that I'm grateful, I also realised about 12 years ago that everything I resented him for he had done for me, so that I could grow up a bit more comfortable than he did. He also taught me the value of working and earning the things people call "toys". I too hope that one day I'll be as good a father as him. I just wish he was closer by to hang out with now that he's semi-retired.
Thanks Dave for giving me a place to put all that down on. Your dad sounds like he was a great guy too. From what I know of you, some of it rubbed off.

 

[tuxumino]

I still have that industrial strength toilet paper from Taiyuan PRC for you, why you avoiding me mang?

 

[CrazyGenius]

Thanks for the reminder Dave! Love the quote !! :thumbup

One of my best friends once said: "Be kind and nice to ALL elderly family members because we might never get a another chance to do so again later !" So true ! We put things off, we blame it on our daily obligations, we have our pride, the crazy fast pace of this Silicon Valley,... so many things that we use as excuse to just to avoid to simply use that magic four letter word: "love" or those three words : "I love you."

 

[ThumperX]

Thank you Dave, our time is but a blip it's good to take a minute and appreciate those around you.

I miss my Dad.

 

[RightCoastBias]

I'm fortunate to have always had a good relationship with my pops. He also doesn't get down with the Father's Day thing. I unknowingly called him on Father's Day and he answered the phone saying, "I hope you're not calling to wish me a happy Father's Day".

Regardless of my Dad's preferences, I think this holiday and Valgar's post are a good reminder to spend time and develop relationships with your parents.

But, it's also about me not getting asked to do a damn thing on Father's day and maybe get a few gifts! Already got a REI gift certificate from my mother!

Go forth and procreate!

 

[mean dad]

Y'all with good dads are lucky.

 

[budman]

Great post Dave.

Unfair to make me well up so early in the AM.
Heading to a Rotary BBQ with my Pops tonight.

I spend at least 5 days a week around him unless I am out of town.
He has been a great Grandfather to my kids too. He truly loves that next gen and has gone out of his way to help them establish themselves for which I am so grateful.

Recent photos.

Me my 35 yo son and Pop.
Me my 31 yo son and Pop.
Me my 27 yo daughter and Pop.

Damn he rocks and like you said Dave.. not enough socks in the world man.

 

[m_asim]

Thanks for a straight-to-the-heart post, Dave.

 

[Wormwood]

Y'all with good dads are lucky.

Agree

Good thing is we can do things different.

 

[Rambeezi]

ort

 

[Johndicezx9]

Excellent post, Valgar, thank you!

It took 50 some odd years to do it, but my father and I just took our first "Father-Son Trip" together last month. We went to Romania, where he grew up before he escaped with my grandfather when the Communists fully took over in '47.

Pretty emotional for both of us, he dealt with a lot of memories, and the realization that he doesn't have many more trips like this in him, but we had a great time.

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads, and to mine! Thank you, for everything!

 

[afm199]

Right on Dave! Made me shed a few tears for the old man.

 

[Map8]

Excellent post, Valgar, thank you!

It took 50 some odd years to do it, but my father and I just took our first "Father-Son Trip" together last month. We went to Romania, where he grew up before he escaped with my grandfather when the Communists fully took over in '47.

Pretty emotional for both of us, he dealt with a lot of memories, and the realization that he doesn't have many more trips like this in him, but we had a great time.

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads, and to mine! Thank you, for everything!

:thumbup Awesome John.

 

[mikev]

don't remember the last time I saw my biological father.

I got someone who took his place though when I was about 10. Worked out pretty well.

 

[mean dad]

Agree

Good thing is we can do things different.

Holy crap, it's the worm. Long time.

Yeah, I pretty much learned how NOT to be a dad from him. Meh, plenty of people have had a lot worse thrown at them. I don't dwell on it, but it does stick in my craw now and again.

 

[Mike95060]

My dad has admitted to me that "benign neglect" best described his parenting. Maybe it served me well and maybe it didn't. I'm trying to strike a different ballence with my kids. I'm also trying to understand, forgive and accept my dad as he is. It's a tough job not everyone will be great at it.

 

[catch2otwo]

I just wish he was closer by to hang out with now that he's semi-retired.

With a world full of trains, cars, buses, planes, cars and motos. No more wishing, go see the guy. You can be on the other side of the planet in 24 hours.:thumbup