Is chivalry really dead?

C

Cali

Well-known member
Getting back in to the dating game. As a pilot it's actually harder to meet people than you'd think. It isn't all glamorous, and before you stay it, no... is best to just stay away from flight attendants.

Anyway, decided to give Bumble a try, have a few matches, asked one out for dinner and she accepted. Had a plan, pick her up, take her out (eventually sometime down the road PIITB since you are going to say it anyway :twofinger ). Then she came back with something that just threw me off.

"Is there a reason you want to pick me up? I've never had that offered before. It's new to me."

Are you serious? I'm 39, she's 28. Do young guys and "boys" really not do this anymore? Drive to her house, pick her up, open the door? You know, be a gentleman? And women, why are you allowing guys to be so lazy and not put in any effort? Now I can understand we haven't met, maybe she wants to meet somewhere before I go to her house, that's no problem. But to have no idea about a man doing this for a woman, it being new?

The date itself was fine, not really into her. No, I didn't PIITB, didn't even go for a goodnight kiss which I think she was wanting because she lingered at her car longer than necessary.

Anyway, was just surprised by it.
 
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Brokenlink

Brokenlink

Banned
I think it's a bit different with internet dating. You are basically anonymously meeting people. So the first meet should be at a safe place......By picking her up she is giving you her address before she even meets you. I mean the advantage is she can see your molester van before the date, but so can her neighbors.
 
msethhunter

msethhunter

Well-known member
Yeah, it's pretty close to dead. Most guys don't open doors for their lady anymore, honk when they arrive instead of walking up to the door, etc. If some dude does that to my daughter, I'll be walking out to his car, not her.
 
Brokenlink

Brokenlink

Banned
msethhunter said:
Yeah, it's pretty close to dead. Most guys don't open doors for their lady anymore, honk when they arrive instead of walking up to the door, etc. If some dude does that to my daughter, I'll be walking out to his car, not her.
Click to expand...

Maybe they are honking because they are horny.
 
JesasaurusRex

JesasaurusRex

Deleted User
I never understood the opening her door for her thing. Sure, if thats the side of the car both of you come across first, but i'm not walking to the far side of the car for you unless your hands are full. I'm certainly not opening your door for you to step out of the car either.
 
TheRobSJ

TheRobSJ

Großer Mechaniker
Cali said:
"Is there a reason you want to pick me up? I've never had that offered before. It's new to me."

Are you serious? I'm 39, she's 28. Do young guys and "boys" really not do this anymore? Drive to her house, pick her up, open the door? You know, be a gentleman? And women, why are you allowing guys to be so lazy and not put in any effort? Now I can understand we haven't met, maybe she wants to meet somewhere before I go to her house, that's no problem. But to have no idea about a man doing this for a woman, it being new?
Click to expand...

As I said over in the other thread a couple days ago, maybe it’s just today’s generation/millennials, but dudes are really low effort these days. It’s a different game from when I was single. The plus side to all this, is as you saw with her lingering at the car, you can close a lot faster. Three date rule is done it seems.
 
TheRobSJ

TheRobSJ

Großer Mechaniker
msethhunter said:
Yeah, it's pretty close to dead. Most guys don't open doors for their lady anymore, honk when they arrive instead of walking up to the door, etc. If some dude does that to my daughter, I'll be walking out to his car, not her.
Click to expand...

They don’t honk. They text.
 
Blankpage

Blankpage

alien
Im liking the sound of this. About time the woman picked the man up.
And bring a snack, small pizza or beef stew that can be warmed up later.
 
M

MysterYvil

Mr. Bad Example
If chivalry/courtesy is dead it has been for a while. In my high school days ('79-'83) I was already the outlier because I opened doors, pushed in chairs, stood when women did, let them into the car first, et cetera.

Some found it strange, but most appreciated it. FREX, one new non-romantic friend was surprised that I unlocked and opened my truck's door for her and her dog and made sure that they were safely in before locking and closing the door. She then leaned over and unlocked my door as I came around. She remarked that that was the first time she ever got to do that (she was 31). We became friends with benefits because of the attention I had paid her.
 
RRR70

RRR70

Attack Helicopter
JesasaurusRex said:
I never understood the opening her door for her thing. Sure, if thats the side of the car both of you come across first, but i'm not walking to the far side of the car for you unless your hands are full. I'm certainly not opening your door for you to step out of the car either.
Click to expand...

Here you go, OP, that proves your observation.
 
aminalmutha

aminalmutha

Well-known member
msethhunter said:
Yeah, it's pretty close to dead. Most guys don't open doors for their lady anymore, honk when they arrive instead of walking up to the door, etc. If some dude does that to my daughter, I'll be walking out to his car, not her.
Click to expand...

Honking outside someone’s house for any reason deserves a crowbar to the face.
 
UDRider

UDRider

FLCL?
What you have experiences has nothing to do with chivalry being dead, and everything to do with you violating a current social norm. As Brokenlink said online dating is a different beast. You two basically don't know each other. Shed doesn't know if you are the man of her life, or a stalker that will murder her if first date doesn't go well.
 
Cyclesuzy

Cyclesuzy

Proud Pissant Squid
I still have men hold doors for me and let me enter\exit the elevator first. I don’t expect it but acknowledge it when it happens.
 
Blankpage

Blankpage

alien
My one time I did the internet dating thing I met her at a restaurant and within a day or so she wanted me to invite her to my place.
Turns out she was selling her place and was needing a place to live for a little while at least and my place was close to where she worked. We hung out at her place a few times until she got tired of me not inviting her over. I was okay with that outcome.

Just before her there was another girl I dated for couple of months and I never knew where she lived and never asked. This one did come to my place several times. But I wasn't planning for it to go the distance either.

Should meet in public a few times before needing to know addresses.
 
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