Bud, great thread to bring up from the past. I just posted this on this thread:
http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=507355
Wow! Awesome write up! I could see all the places with each word you wrote. It really moved me.
The older I get, the more stuff that I accumulate, the stuff that requires my attention (attention that draws me away from riding), just leaves me "more bottled up" inside. I might finally have my "youthful" rebellion at 50 instead of 17.
"Fuck it all", I say to myself, then stuff that thought and off to my commitments.
I'm about to just stop doing "things" and go ride. Sell stuff, AND LOTS of stuff, the stuff that requires my attention. And not take that money and buy new stuff, just settle with my good old truck (needing new paint), and sit with my good old sport bike, that needs its chicken strips scrubbed out AND SCRUBBED OUT HARD! Not buy that new Mustang with all the bling...new bike with other bling...
Do this while my body doesn't hurt too much (I'm scarred and bruised head to toe), and do this while my "energy" still surpasses most 20ish year olds.
This thinking all came to the forefront last weekend. A dear friend (best bud) turned 50, and at his birthday party, a long-ago-friend was there, I guy I/we hung-out with over many years when we were all in high school and a few years beyond that. I always thought of him as super-cool, good looking, smart, wise, etc. I remember him as a 20 year old, then I see him and he's 49 years old. It was like a dream-weird dream. I can say, "he has aged very well. He is still thin. His face looks good. BUT he's lost his hair, and he's OLD!" LOL
Now I have a bit of a larger perspective then most. I see our lives as one of many. I'm looking forward to my next, star ships etc. But here and now, that is where we need to sit and be in. Here and now. Here and now, is racing at 100mph down country roads. Here and now is sensing that rock, or car in driveway pulling out, and slowing for no reason, but then you see the rock or car. Here and now is being frozen cold on your bike. Here and now is sweating so bad in your leathers and getting home only to fall over trapped and unable to get your arms out, and then just laughing. Here and now is remembering the smell of your bike sliding down the road like a bad space shuttle re-entry. Here and now is getting a phone call to ride. AND here and now is getting a phone call that a ride ended badly.
But to be counting your beans, that's a death, a small death, one FUCKING bean at a time.
Is it a trade, one bean, or one knee dragging fucking awesome corner. Do you/we choose, or do circumstances choose - - - bean - - - corner