Coming out of the darkness.

[Papi]

My fellow barfers,

I'm coming out of the darkness, with a hope to help others.

This year I took part in a program that used Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy to address my lifelong depression. After years of medications and therapies (over 30 years), it became clear to me that I needed a better way. Here's a recent article released today by the SV Metro on that journey in which I participated this year -SiliconValleyMetro

Most people really have no concept of what Biological Depression really is. At the root, it is simply a defective mechanism in the Cortex (Prefrontal Cortex for me) that reduces the effectiveness of operation with neurons and chemicals like Serotonin in certain parts of the brain. The result is you live with depression constantly. Medications are a bandaid, not a cure, by masking the defects to help get you through the day. But they are in no way a cure.

I participated in this article to help others realize that "other" and newer methods of treating Biological Depression are available. I've spent the better part of the last 15 years reviewing data, studies, successes, failures and even investing into companies with novel solutions to find effective treatments without hindering ones ability to live a full life. As I stated in the interview of the article, the results for me under TMS treatment were highly rewarding. Beyond breaking the need for Anti-Depressants (most of which genetically don't work for me anyway), I began to feel real joy and happiness.

The bottom line is that we must continue to always explore and develop novel therapeutic ideas to keep the human race moving forward. Just jamming pills down ones throat isn't the answer. In fact, because of modern genetic testing, most of the pills themselves are more dangerous than the actual problem. (Pharmagenomics was actually a huge key into finding my solution. One test, one week later, years of revealing data.)

I'm here to tell you that Major Depression is not a disease, and in most cases, not a disorder. It is a Biological Defect that unless you can remain strong and constantly search for the plan that works for you, you will suffer, and possibly take your own life. I know this pain, I know it well. I feel very fortunate that this last year has proven to me that novel therapies like TMS are now available to almost everyone suffering with Biological Depression, as well as other therapies that don't require pharmaceuticals to bring relief.

If you know someone that suffers with Depression, and you know they need help, I'll be happy to talk with anyone to show them that they to can find a solution to manage this problem, and they to can finally find relief and live a full and happy life. They are lots of great resources out there. Finding them isn't always easy, but they are there if you know where to look. Never give up on yourself if you are suffering, your life is to important to let this stop you from succeeding in whatever you endeavor.

I will be attempting this year to finish my book on this topic, and again, with hope it can help another suffering and prevent just one suicide. If it does that, my mission is complete.

Again- here's a link to the article about part of my recent journey, please share it with others if it can help them, and I'm happy to talk one on one with anyone to give them the highlights of my journey and a path that worked for me at last. Thank you. --Papi
Click here for the TMS article in SiliconValley Metro

More info on TMS here from Wiki, however the Therapy I used is fairly new (only available in the last two years, called Deep rTMS) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation

 

[Ant]

Good for you! Wishing you peace and happiness every day:thumbup

 

[motomania2007]

Very interesting Steve!

Good to see it helped you!

 

[DReg350]

Papi, I remember you and I having a lengthy phone conversation the week before you started the program. You were "cautiously optimistic." I also recall the program required a significant commitment in terms of participation... a very structured and scheduled treatment program. Several visits a week as I recall?

If it worked for you... kudos to you for sticking with it. Yet, it doesn't surprise me that you did. In spite of your depression, you've always been an incredibly driven and motivated person. :thumbup

Edit: Just read the article. Wow "requires daily office visits for six weeks and maintenance sessions beyond that." Yeah, that's a commitment.

 

[Eldritch]

Glad it worked out for you. Right on.

 

[bruceflinch]

Wow, that is fantastic! Best Wishes for continued success!

I hope that they can find other uses for TMS to give people relief.

 

[hophead]

out-fucking-standing papi! way to fight back. all any of us can do is the best we can do right? :thumbup

 

[Lex Talionis]

I read this article a few days ago, and found it very interesting. It reminded me of an event two decades ago. The wife was talked into trying "magnetic therapy" to improve our health (we were just "averagely" healthy at the time) via a few hundred magnets sewn into a comforter. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant, and the comforter was on loan, so no downside. Or so I thought. I was put into the uncomfortable academic position of stating with certainty the magnets were snake oil prior to the arrival of the comforter, yet then experiencing five sequential nights of un-restful sleep. Wife did not sleep well also.

So, there is something going on, biologically, in a gauss field - and those many small magnets were not near our heads.

Very happy to read you are experiencing success, it's always a huge plus when medicine and technology successfully come together.

Lex

 

[Lex Talionis]

I've returned home from picking up a grandson from school. When it's my turn to do the driving, I leave early to spend an hour or more at the library a block from his school, reading periodicals I'm too cheap to subscribe to. I usually go first to Scientific American. Today I coincidentally found this article Papi may be interested in: Treating Depression at the Source, February 2015 issue.

Just over a year ago, this article described experimental treatment for depression resistant to psychotherapy and drugs. The treatment was an offshoot of treatment for Parkinson's Disease, involving permanently implanting thin electrodes in the patient's brain, then electrically pulsing the electrodes. I know this worked well for an aged family acquaintance with severe Parkinson's.

Science has come a long way since early last year.

Good luck to you, Papi.

Lex

 

[injun]

Keep going brother, we all hope for a feeling of comfort, and we want to belong.

 

[asdfghwy]

Very interesting

 

[x7821]

Thank you very much for the post up and candor/bluntness on the matter!

 

[Archimedes]

Awesome that it's working for you and that you're spreading the word. It will save someone's life. The more information out there, the better.

 

[Papi]

I was put into the uncomfortable academic position of stating with certainty the magnets were snake oil prior to the arrival of the comforter, yet then experiencing five sequential nights of un-restful sleep. Wife did not sleep well also.

First, the technology behind TMS is not new. It actually began it's life with MRI, used everyday, thousands of times daily for imaging.

What was discovered was targeting the Magnetic Pulse used in MRI down to a much smaller field. By using that technology, they could excite Neurons by bombarding them with the TMS technology. This is almost the same effect as ECT (without the sedation needed or horrible effects).

In my research for the past 15 years to find a non-invasive treatment, I boiled it down to three things I would be faced with: 1. Implantation as you referred to in your second post, 2. ECT Electro Convulsive aka Shock Treatment, or TMS. After looking at the past 8 years of results and science in several countries using TMS, and its FDA approval, then the new Deep rTMS released 2 years ago, I decided it was time.

Now while Jennifer did a great job with article, TMS is a little more involved than just strapping on a "magnetic helmet" as she stated. A full peer review must take place first, that included 3 Doctors and two lab techs. Plus a full review of my history, pharmagenomic studies and other genetic marker testing was also involved.

Once I was approved for the treatment, I was fitted with a head sock that has measuring ticks on it for placement marking. Then a small pulse is sent into my Motor Cortex (which produces a reaction) to guage distance from the Pre Frontal Cortex they are looking to bombard with pulses. Once that is done, then the energy level, pulse width and duration are set based on the Doctors recommendation.

I then was in office 6 days a week for 6 straight weeks. At first, it was bit un-nerving, but you acclimate after a couple weeks.

About 2 weeks in, I experienced a sensation of internal happiness for the first time in decades. At 4 weeks in I was pretty even all the time and on no more medications or AD. At 6 weeks, peers and clients noticed a dramatic change in my facial expression and a lot of happiness in my work. My entire mood was normalizing to be like what most people experience daily, for which I was robbed of since I could remember as a small child. This was huge.

Now since the treatment, I have had mild relapse, but nothing as severe as earlier. I am not in remission, but the treatment has changed my life, since biologically, the Neuron activity has been elevated in the Pre Frontal Cortex, hence causing chemical change for Serotonin and Dopamine to actually function in that area again.

I expect I will be going back for follow up treatment soon. There is a lot of research, science, clinical studies and plenty of credible Neurological Doctors on-boarding with the use of this technology. It isn't yet a Pharma killer, but we are moving in a direction to re-awaken biologically whats partially broken in some of us with MDD to function without pharma solutions slowing us down.

Again, I'm happy to share my journey (it's been a loooong road) with anyone trying to make a decision about treating Biological Depression and Drug Resistant Depression to anyone who want's some extra information.


.

 

[motomania2007]

Awesome that it is working for you Papi!

 

[KittenMeat]

I'm super glad this worked for you.

If you don't mind, I'd like to 'overshare' for a moment.

MDD is something I've struggled with my whole life. It runs pretty deep in my family, from what I can tell. Stories of my grandfather I never met, he was quiet and rarely spoke, and when my father left home to become a doctor in the US, he asked my grandfather not to come to the airport, as he didn't think his heart could take it. My grandfather passed away not that long afterwards.
My father struggled with it when I was growing up. I knew something was going on other than the usual work stress.

I've struggled with it as well. From the time I was a teenager, I started to exhibit the signs. No energy, no derivement of pleasure from anything that I did. I was an excellent athlete, but when I won state championships by setting a record in rowing, I was without any reaction. I had a few poorly fated relationships that left me far more hurt and worthless than they should have.

I'm still not sure if it's unipolar, or bipolar II, as the depressive phases have been long and relatively unyielding. I was one of those for whom the first line drugs (SSRI) were not just ineffective, but actually plunged me into an anxiety ridden depressive state that was far worse than before.

Part of the reason I'm going into psychiatry as a specialty is that I've literally tried most of the drugs.
Psychiatrists, as part of their training, used to have to take each of these drugs in one dose to feel their side effect profile. We don't do that anymore because it's "unethical" however I don't know how you can prescribe mind altering substances without intimately knowing them. For those I've not taken, I read a considerable amount of patient reports on web forums to get a humanistic understanding of what being on them is like for most people that take them.


I'm lucky, though. I found medications I responded to. I have close friends (in the community we all share) that are not so lucky. They are looking at Electro Convulsive Therapy and really weighing the benefits. Many are hoping for deep brain stimulation or the ketamine trial which is going on worldwide right now with intense hope.

I can imagine the feeling of lost hope, as Ive been there.

What they don't tell you is that depression isn't just about your mood. Depression comes with intense physical pain, as if you just sprained every muscle in your body. It comes with stomach and digestive issues that resemble the most horrific autoimmune diseases we have. It comes with headaches, and heart palpitations that resemble endocrine tumors. It presents with an inability to think clearly that we would associate with severe head injury.

We like to think depression is just a disease of the mind, but it affects the entire body. Your entire being in this world, and how you experience both good and bad events is entirely ruined by this disease.

It is absolutely no surprise that it kills people. It's nearly killed me many times over, and it's frustrated doctors looking for another explanation when I stubbornly refused to call my situation what it was.

Even when you're treated well, you still have relapses. Sometimes your pharmacy can't refill you, or you lose medication, or you go on a trip and leave it at home. It's just as dangerous as someone with a heart condition forgetting their beta blockers at home. The moment we see psychiatric disease as the multi system disease that it truly is, we can make progress as a society.


okay, rant off.

much love, and hope that your treatments continue to give you a new life.
<3