I've been riding for almost two years now, and for me, it's more of a fleeting thought. The conversation in my head goes like this. And NO, I'm not talking out loud so people don't hear me answering myself!
Being a single parent, I think, what would happen to my kids if something were to happen to me. Am I being irresponsible and selfish about wanting to ride. Then again, anything can happen at any time. There is nothing that says when I go it will be when I'm riding. I just tell myself every day that I need to be a responsible rider because I have to come home to my kids. Always watching out, using the mentality of everyone is out to get me, or even better, my ex-wife is the one behind the wheel of every vehicle out there and she is trying to get me when I'm on my bike. Before I ride, I try to "listen" for the OK to ride. I swear there have been times doing this that it was just a no go to ride. I don't know the reason, it's just a feeling. On one such occasion, I took the cage and as I was approaching an intersection, a car blatently ran a red light (that had been red for about 20 seconds). I wasn't at the intersection yet, but it happened SO FAST that if I were on my bike, arguably I would have been in that spot.
I still get butterflies as I prepare myself to ride (commute almost daily) because I'm just nervous, but when I'm riding, it feels comfortable. Two years into it, I'm finding that I feel uncomfortably comfortable riding. Like I need to kickstart myself so that "edge" that I felt when first riding is more prevalant (no spell checker police please). Anyway, sorry it's getting kinda long, but no, I don't think I'd stop riding, just continue to learn and improve my riding, not dwelling on what I might have done wrong, but rather, how I should have handled a situation.
On another note, riding home today on the superslab, some lady pulled over into my line and would have been on top of me, but the moment her car motioned towards me, I picked it up with my peripherals and was able to perform a controlled evasive manuever. I'd like to chalk that experience up to all the helpful people here on teh barf. Though you are a group like no other, your collective experience is priceless, especially the crash analysis section. I was afraid to read it when I first joined, but then thought, what better way to learn from mistakes than to read it rather than experience it.
Thanks BARF! And NO, the lady in the car almost switching lanes on top of me was NOT HOT!
