Brown81
Well-known member
Do we have to be depressed? You just sound like a cool dude to hang out with! :laughing
But seriously, cool thread.:cool
You Are Not Alone
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Do we have to be depressed? You just sound like a cool dude to hang out with! :laughing
But seriously, cool thread.:cool
Hawaiirider
Well-known member
It's the family thing for me - the memories of having one vs. the present reality.
Spiral
Well-known member
My boss' nephew left the world a few years back. I met the family and I can just see the devastation in their eyes. My ex g/f is contemplating about it, and I'm doing my best to make her forget she ever thought about it. Never dismiss someone who even talks a little bit about suicide.
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If you suspect someone is feeling bad, ask.
Don't be accusatory about it, or overly gushy. Just ask.
"How you doin', Bro?" and do not accept "Fine" or "Good" as an answer.
Ask a couple of times in a row, and use the word "really."
Then drop it. If they are really OK, then they know you care and you will be better friends for it. If they are hurting, they may not let on. They may get back to you later. Or not. Worse comes to worse, at least you know you tried to help.
Don't be accusatory about it, or overly gushy. Just ask.
"How you doin', Bro?" and do not accept "Fine" or "Good" as an answer.
Ask a couple of times in a row, and use the word "really."
Then drop it. If they are really OK, then they know you care and you will be better friends for it. If they are hurting, they may not let on. They may get back to you later. Or not. Worse comes to worse, at least you know you tried to help.
Idontdotrix
let sleeping bitches lie
thank you Drew for this thread and encouraging those here who may be feeling isolated, alone and despondent that there are people here willing to help- and answers to be found.
and thank you to everyone here who's been there for me when I needed a friend. some of you barely knew me, but offered a message of support when I talked about a problem. some of you have held my hand and let me cry on your shoulder. some of you said nothing but sent kind thoughts. I knew I wasn't alone. and even when everything in my life is going well, when I read messages here about folks being there, really coming through for others in this community, it warms my heart.
BARF may be a dysfunctional family, but it's still a family
and thank you to everyone here who's been there for me when I needed a friend. some of you barely knew me, but offered a message of support when I talked about a problem. some of you have held my hand and let me cry on your shoulder. some of you said nothing but sent kind thoughts. I knew I wasn't alone. and even when everything in my life is going well, when I read messages here about folks being there, really coming through for others in this community, it warms my heart.
BARF may be a dysfunctional family, but it's still a family
blacklotic
veteran newbie
I'm glad there's a thread going about this topic, as I recently had someone confide in me that they feel depressed.
I guess I'm looking for some advice, I had some issues while in college dealing with stressed induced depression, it got to me and I had to drop out for 6 months before I could go back. During that time off though, I had my family around and a sociable job with lots of good folks to work with.
My friend on the other had has no family in the U.S., no means to get home and some family issues. That said, she has a great group of supportive friends, but she has that "tough girl" mentality where doesn't like to show what's really going on inside.
I know there are places to go that offer counseling, but I don't think she'd ever go. Anyone else here go through something similar and care to share what got them through?
I guess I'm looking for some advice, I had some issues while in college dealing with stressed induced depression, it got to me and I had to drop out for 6 months before I could go back. During that time off though, I had my family around and a sociable job with lots of good folks to work with.
My friend on the other had has no family in the U.S., no means to get home and some family issues. That said, she has a great group of supportive friends, but she has that "tough girl" mentality where doesn't like to show what's really going on inside.
I know there are places to go that offer counseling, but I don't think she'd ever go. Anyone else here go through something similar and care to share what got them through?
Jimbo007
Tugboat Trash
I've had to deal with a few close people ending themselves around this time of year. It's something we talk about amongst my friends and family, specifically mentioning the people who aren't doing well or seem to be down. We haven't had that talk this year yet, but I was out on the tug today when we got the call that there was a person in the water, mid-span GG Bridge, and to keep an eye out. Really brought it to my attention again.
Please reach out if you need help.
Please reach out if you need help.
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If she has confided in you, you may be the best person to help. If you are able, let her know you care and offer as much time as you can.
If you are not able, ask her if there is another friend she feels comfortable talking with. If not, there is a link above for counselor hot lines for just such an occasion.
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alien
lefty
Well-known member
Aww Shucks!! HeLL No, you don't have to be sad, just give me a call or send a PM.
Thanks, you're welcome to come over too.
I'm home early in the afternoon, and just stay home (after walking the dogs) most of the time.
blacklotic
veteran newbie
I've adjust my schedule as much as I can to be around when she's not at work, I'm thinking it's the holidays that have her in a bad space. My only concern is that she'll clam up if I try to bring it up at all, any way to ease into this, or do I just dive right in?
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Just making yourself available is huge.
Indirect ways of making it clear you care are often quite meaningful.
If she is that close of a friend, just come right out and ask.
I once asked a person close to me if she was thinking of hurting herself due to some cues I had noticed. She was appreciative of the fact that I was paying enough attention to notice and cared enough to ask.
Indirect ways of making it clear you care are often quite meaningful.
If she is that close of a friend, just come right out and ask.
I once asked a person close to me if she was thinking of hurting herself due to some cues I had noticed. She was appreciative of the fact that I was paying enough attention to notice and cared enough to ask.
scratch
4 corners island feeler
I'll speak up from my own personal experience.
First some backgound: I was raised in a Christian home, but had drifted away.
I remember reading a comic book (Fantastic-Four or The Thing) in which Ben Grimm was abducted to fight in an intergalactic boxing match. He was badly beaten, but he refused to give up. I can see the picture of him, dragging himself across the canvas, bleeding, and saying to the Champion, "...never give up".
As a teenager I had self-esteem issues, and borderline-depression in high school. And, no freinds at first. I also had a .22 rifle. And, was an insomniac. At night, I would listen to the radio, expecially Pink Floyd, and Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapshody', and think about 'doing it'; I would put my fingers to my head and say to myself, "Bang. O.k., you're dead. Now, what are you going to do with the rest of your life? Don't you want to see what the rest of your life could have been like?" That got me through. That gave me enough hope to carry on. Personally, I've always thought that suicidal thoughts are normal, I mean, why would I want to feel any worse about myself because I'm having thoughts that are not normal? I just told myself that they were normal and that I would get through them. And, I did!
Some people join the military as a last-ditch effort in their life, I joined to experience life. Life is an experience! In the Navy, I had two freinds, one who's girlfreind dumped him, that I recognized as being very despondent. I simply said to them, "Don't you want to see what the rest of your life is going to be like?" They both thanked me later. Oh yeah, and we were submariners.
Then when I married my late wife, I gave my life to the Lord. Even so, the marriage was rocky at first, but my faith saw me through. That hope that it could get better, that it would get better. There was hope!
More recently I learned from my pastor that people that want to commit suicide want to be happy. They think they will be happier if they were dead. But, there is hope! Hope for a better life! It might take some effort, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up!
Even though my wife passed away 3 months ago, I still look forward to my future. If I can, so can you.
Hope this helps. Life is an experience. Experience life!
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georgelass
Intrastink
Both my sister and I volunteered a suicide hotline at one time. (We had a parent do themselves in a LONG time ago.)
The phone counselor folks pretty much try anything to change the person's mind. One college female caller also seemed to respond to my question about whether she was simply curious as to how things might turn out. It was a long shot, but it worked.
My sister had a really tough caller. My sister tried everything and then noticed the woman seemed to be talking to her cat. So my sister asked the caller what she thought they would do with the cat if the lady took her life. Well, the lady figured the animal shelter would find it a home. My sister played up the odds that the cat probably would be euthanized. That worked on the lady.
(Uh, I do have a needy cat. And my sister has probably over 70 cats. She's kind of nuts, but she is not thinking suicide!)
sliverstorm
Well-known member
How it should be. The fact that they called means they want help, and if they want help there's still hope, no matter how dim.
MrIncredible
Is fintastic
aszrael1266
Resident Squid
no matter how bad things are, there are always friends and people more then happy to help you.
Gixxergirl1000
AFM #731
That feeling of being "tired" of it all is a symptom of depression... if you deal with the depression (therapy, medication, herbal supplements like St John's Wort, etc), you won't feel tired like that... you'll rediscover your zest for living. There's so much out there that's wonderful and exciting... so much left to taste, to touch, to see, to do... yes, life has it's trials. It gets old going to a job that you're not passionate about, going home to an empty house, dealing with aging parents, or whatever your particular "row to hoe" is... but there are also things like friends, track days, racing, blue skies and warm temperatures in December, puppies, hot tubs, flowers, and a million wonderful new experiences out there just waiting for you... but it all starts with taking care of yourself. If you're struggling with that, then reach out for some help.
I'm always here for anyone who needs a shoulder to lean on, or someone to listen, or help you to help yourself. Literally just a PM away!
Like the thread title says, You're Not Alone!
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