You Are Not Alone

[Removed 4]

Some years ago I posted a thread about the holidays and depression.
In light of recent events I thought I would repeat myself.

One of the biggest lies a depressed person believes is that they are alone. They feel that no one cares, no one understands, or that no one has time for their whining/pity party.

This is a LIE. Many of us here on BARF, and in the general population have struggled with some degree of depression and survived. We may have some insight or some tips or even just be available to listen(which is more therapeutic than one might think.).

Most of the time here in the sink we goof around or even flame each other for this or that. But depression is a serious issue and many of us are really willing to help out in any way we can.
If you have been a member of BARF for any length of time you will know how many very cool people we have around here that give freely of themselves to people in need.
If you have not been here very long and do not trust any of us enough to bear your soul...please find a friend, family member, counselor, clergy...anyone to talk to.

Your problems are no less real than ours. They are no less important. They are no less fixable.

Speak up, BARFers. There are people near by who care.

 

[Dr. Evil]

Present.

 

[lefty]

WOW!!!!

This thread just brought tears to my eye (those who know me, will get the joke).

I too am available if anyone needs to 'talk' or just hang out for a while. I have 2 dogs and a cat that want more companionship. I have a freezer full of meat waiting to be grilled, and a 'fridge full of beer. If any of you needs to just hang out- c'mon over.

Ed 650-704-3207.

 

[Brokenlink]

Good thread Drewler.

 

[Removed 4]

One thing I learned last year when I lost my friends: it is OK, even good to cry.

A bunch of manly men, hit hard by tragedy were sitting around talking about the event. One brave soul admitted he had been crying a lot. One by one the rest of us said it out loud. We cry.

From then on, when the memories got to be too much, I just let the tears flow.

Guys, don't hold it in. Don't be ashamed. Be man enough to admit it to yourself. You'll feel better.

 

[n10sive]

I suffer from depression, and struggle with it a lot this time of year (lack of sunshine being a big factor) . When I was on the fire department it made it worse as this was the time of year that I also responded to a lot of suicides (on average of 14 per month for November and December). Thought of it many a time myself.

I used to take meds for it, but lately I have been taking Vitamin D3 and try and work out more and it has really helped. So don't overlook the physical self when dealing with depression also.

 

[Removed 4]

Very true, Dale.
One of the factors that led me to my recent job change was the physical part.
I spent an entire year sitting on the couch watching TV and surfing the net. My job allowed for tons of down time. I did not realize it, but that just fed my depression. I gained weight, started having back problems, and just continued marinating in my own funk.

I still carry my loss, but now I am up and around and involving myself more in other people's lives than my own. It is better for me all the way around.

 

[Godsdarling]

The best cure for depression is to do something for another person, volunteer somewhere. I don't get depressed by nature but my mom did. horribly so. The more you can do for people the better you will feel

 

[V4]

:cool

 

[m_asim]

What I have seen in my more than 6 years on BARF is the community is very very good in getting around to support a BARFer in need. Depression strikes everybody. Men are especially prone to suffer because we are programmed to suck it in and "Be a man" which leads to us closing off others from what we suffer emotionally from.

If you take anything from this thread, it should be that you need to share (especially when you really don't want to talk to anyone). My personal regrets involve not sharing with friends and suffering in silence and making bad decisions.

 

[windex]

This is good. I've handled a suicide in my family; found my dad after he used my gun to do the job. It messed me up for years.

I look as suicide as the easy way out, but you leave the family with the mess and emotional damage to deal with. I had lots of guilt of what I could've, should've.....

 

[cencalballer]

I suffer from depression, and struggle with it a lot this time of year (lack of sunshine being a big factor) . When I was on the fire department it made it worse as this was the time of year that I also responded to a lot of suicides (on average of 14 per month for November and December). Thought of it many a time myself.

I used to take meds for it, but lately I have been taking Vitamin D3 and try and work out more and it has really helped. So don't overlook the physical self when dealing with depression also.

My ex also suffered from SAD. I do a little bit as well. I've also lost a few friends over the years to suicide and prevented a few by committing them to a hospital for a few days.

 

[Yakoo752]

:cry

:thumbup

BARF cares as a collective! reach out to someone and see

 

[TRASHPUPY]

I have seen it professional. I have lost friends and a young nephew. Every incedent was different. Sometimes you can see or feel thier pain and then other times they have built up the walls so high you never really see the person. Understanding the final act is impossible. The love ones are always left with too many questions and never an exceptable answer. The only thing that you can hope is that they settled thier pain or found the answer.

Being there for a family member, friend or even a stranger that is reaching out is all you can do. Lend an ear, a hug or just some time to those around you. Help those that need it. Your life may be busy and complicated but it is never that bad that you can't help someone in need.

If you feel feel you are alone or things are too much for you to handel, reach out. The people in you life or the members here are there for you. There are options for you no matter how bad things feel. Nothing is that bad that can't be worked out.

I wish I would have known Steve was in need. I know there isn't anyone on here that doesn't feel the same. He was everyones friend and will be dearly missed. That just shows you never know who needs you. I do know that I am proud to be apart of Barf and to know that there are so many people on this site that cares.

Take care everyone and I hope you never forget that I am out here if you need me.

 

[HappyHighwayman]

Just remember that the "Holidays" have no real "meaning" other than commercialism anymore. What does Santa, Christmas trees, gift giving, sleigh rides, snow and decorations have to do with Jesus Christ? Absolutely nothing. He wasn't even born in December. The Christmas stories of his birth are a myth...

So people who are miserable during the "Holidays", just remember, it's all made up, and more of commercial venture for the US. Don't feel bad, because there's nothing to "feel" for in the first place.

I'm not Christian myself and don't celebrate Christmas, but I don't feel "left out", I feel "free" that I don't need to drive myself crazy buying gifts, sending cards, hosting dinners or attending meaningless religious services.

 

[n10sive]

Just remember that the "Holidays" have no real "meaning" other than commercialism anymore. What does Santa, Christmas trees, gift giving, sleigh rides, snow and decorations have to do with Jesus Christ? Absolutely nothing. He wasn't even born in December. The Christmas stories of his birth are a myth...

So people who are miserable during the "Holidays", just remember, it's all made up, and more of commercial venture for the US. Don't feel bad, because there's nothing to "feel" for in the first place.

I'm not Christian myself and don't celebrate Christmas, but I don't feel "left out", I feel "free" that I don't need to drive myself crazy buying gifts, sending cards, hosting dinners or attending meaningless religious services.

I don't think you understand why people commit suicide this time of year then. It has nothing to do with Santa or Jesus. It has more to do with feeling alone and the feeling of not having anyone who cares about you. People sit around and watch all the other people getting together and having fun (dinners, presents etc), and they don't have that feeling themselves. They feel like an outsider and get despondent. It happens to these people throughout the year, but it is heightened around the holidays. It has NOTHING to do with "OMG! I didn't get my GI Joe with the kung fu grip this year!". There are other factors too, but the majority of cases I know of have more to do with self worth and value than anything else.

 

[Ant]

Just remember that the "Holidays" have no real "meaning" other than commercialism anymore. What does Santa, Christmas trees, gift giving, sleigh rides, snow and decorations have to do with Jesus Christ? Absolutely nothing. He wasn't even born in December. The Christmas stories of his birth are a myth...

So people who are miserable during the "Holidays", just remember, it's all made up, and more of commercial venture for the US. Don't feel bad, because there's nothing to "feel" for in the first place.

I'm not Christian myself and don't celebrate Christmas, but I don't feel "left out", I feel "free" that I don't need to drive myself crazy buying gifts, sending cards, hosting dinners or attending meaningless religious services.

If that's what it means to you then great but to say it should apply to all trivializes what others may feel . To a lot of folks the holidays do have real meaning beyond commercialism and it's not always about religion.

 

[sliverstorm]

If that's what it means to you then great but to say it should apply to all trivializes what others may feel . To a lot of folks the holidays do have real meaning beyond commercialism and it's not always about religion.

QFT. In my family, Christmas is much like Thanksgiving- a time to get together with your family and eat a lot of cranberries, even if only for a day.

If you are feeling lonely and your family is not around any longer, or you are too far from home to visit, why not celebrate the holidays with friends? There are always other people in that spot, who would love to gather with you, and nobody says you can only eat holiday dinners with blood relatives.

Sometimes I, too, get a little lonely- but I always remind myself; this, too, shall pass. Some day, maybe even someday soon, things will change for the better, and I owe it to myself to stick it out until then.

 

[MrIncredible]

QFT. In my family, Christmas is much like Thanksgiving- a time to get together with your family and eat a lot of cranberries, even if only for a day.

If you are feeling lonely and your family is not around any longer, or you are too far from home to visit, why not celebrate the holidays with friends? There are always other people in that spot, who would love to gather with you, and nobody says you can only eat holiday dinners with blood relatives.

Sometimes I, too, get a little lonely- but I always remind myself; this, too, shall pass. Some day, maybe even someday soon, things will change for the better, and I owe it to myself to stick it out until then.

This-my family (what's left of it) is far away, and get smaller at the rate of two of us a year or so.


I make it a point to get together as often as possible, and to invite anyone who has nowhere else to go, as well. It's a rough time of year if you're surrounded by cheerful happy people all being sociable with their friends and loved ones, when you have no nearby friends and loved ones. It's unpleasant.



I moved to California early December, 2006, two weeks after my dad passed away. That was a lonely, miserable holiday season. I would've given anything for it to pass quicker, without having people ask me if I was going "home" for the holidays, or hoping that my next year was as good as the one I just had!


Hey thanks asshole-I have no current home, and this was the worst year on record-so, no, I don't want next year to be just as good. I hope you choke on your turkey.


People are always welcome at my house.

 

[ScorpioVI]