I read your prior post to mean that a parent tries to guide their kid. Help them learn important lessons about life, how to cope, how to treat strangers, how not to be an asshole. This includes the basics like me telling my 5 year old twins that when the waiter is taking our order, with four kids at the table, they need to be respectful by staying quiet other than to say thank you and to place their own order, which they generally better have decided upon as a first order of business when sitting down. My kids are extremely outgoing, silly, total riot and Motley Crue, but I expect them to be respectful to people that are trying to serve them, etc etc. These are my values that I’m pushing on them. If they want to be dickheads when they turn 18, go for it, but as for now I’m trying to shape good decent human beings that will go do whatever it is in life that they want, but hopefully they will pursue their dreams and preferences with some solid foundational character and standards.
I think people are twisting what you said.
I don’t think trying to “shape” the basics so that the kid has perspective etc to be a contributing member of society and a person that can advocate for themselves and pursue their dreams, is a bad thing.
I don’t think anyone has suggested forcing kids into a predetermined life style. Not how I read it. Although it sure seems like some people had that happen to them.