What kind of riding do you do to get that "calm and peaceful" feeling?
Can you describe a typical situation that you consider risky and find satisfying?
As you see it, where is the risk specifically? Is it in the uncertainty about the capabilities of the machine, is it of your own skill, or is it in randomess due to the environment or other road occupants?
On a motorcycle, the potential for severe injuries in a crash is much higher than in a car. But in a car the potential for harming someone else or doing a lot of property damage is higher. How do you sort out in your mind the possible consequences?
Good questions, take my answers with salt, as it's possible that I am a partial sociopath. If so, this distorts my sense of responsibility.
Can this apply to cars as well? I don't push as hard on the bike, as I'm still skill limited to non sliding situations.
Calm and peaceful is dealing with corner after corner, at the edge of traction, preferably in the rain, with a smooth rhythm. This is for the car. On a bike, I'm limited to cornering at 100% of my traction sensing ability. I just don't have the skill to push past that, but it sure feels a lot riskier than the same learning curve in cars! But if I can keep it up for several corners it's nice. I'm not really good enough on a bike to have the same feeling I get in a car...I'm just enjoying the simple joy of being on a bike...and just being in traffic still has some risk feel too it, although it's passing quickly.
Risky and satisfying. In the car Having the rear end snap loose going into the big gravity bowl S curve going North on 17, correcting one handed without spilling my coffee, no heart rate increase. Nothing is as satisfying as dealing with an event like that without having to think, and without raising my heart rate.
The risk is a combination of errors I could make, or the environment. I put capabilities of the machine under errors I could make, as it's my responsibility to both control it, and to be aware of it's limitations. The environment is the primary challenge, and part of why I'll always love the road more than the track. The risk, is the challenge I guess. Also I count other road users as part of the environment.
As for consequences, the car is more serious than the bike of course. If I get hurt on the bike, I will almost certainly feel that it's my fault. Were I unable to care for my family I would feel badly for them, but ultimately I need to live for me, and as riding and driving are what is most meaningful to me, and I have limited time on the planet. If I don't make me ride, who will?
In the car I do have some concerns about hurting others, and I don't think I would be able to be alright with having killed people...but...
I deleted a lot of what I wrote here...suffice it to say, it's very important to me to not have feelings that would prevent me from killing ANYONE who I feel I need to kill, including myself. This is the only way I can live in our world. I must be ready to kill or die at all times. I'm not a mentally healthy person...but I'm much better off than I was before I did a lot of work to fix myself up some. I'm still surprised I made it this far.
So I go past the limits of prudence, knowing that I may cause tragedy for myself or for others. On the other hand I am prepared to drive into a pole, or off a cliff, rather than take someone else out, and I visualize such in my "escape plans" for various driving situations, but I sure can't be 100% certain that I will make that choice if the situation presents. I also have saved a few people from serious injury who put themselves in my path (violating my right of way, not innocents pulling out of a driveway while I'm speeding) by being able to avoid a collision. I usually drop my speed to pass people with less speed differential, and anticipate them coming into my lane. I do not get "cut off" in traffic. Sometimes people may move in front of me with little space to spare, but if there's room for a car, then you're welcome to merge. People will try to merge into my lane...I just look at them until they finally see me, and hopefully they don't lose control getting back into their lane. Being calm in these situations is part of my payoff. It's a give and take, but I can't justify it...it's not a morally defensible position.
So my feelings about the risk I cause to others are a balance of my real desire to not hurt anyone, and my desperate need to be able to hurt anyone. I don't think it's very fair to blame everyone for the few jerks who treated me badly in grades k-11. It's not their fault I was a wuss. It's not their fault I was either raised wrong or damaged by the drugs I got in the womb. But I don't feel the same as other people do (Or maybe I do, I don't know) and I also don't think my relationship with risk, life and death is the same as other's.
If you ride or drive "too fast" on the street ever, I encourage you to think strongly about how you feel about killing other people. With all my driving experience (7500+ hours PUSHING IT, and that is a conservative estimate) I am all for lower speed limits, and better driver training. It seems absolutely crazy to me that we speed along on the highways the way we do. I'm comfortable with it...but I don't understand how everyone who isn't prepared to be sideways at 60+ MPH deals with it.
Sorry to be so heavy, but it's nice to write about, as I do think about it a lot.