COVID Jokes, Prolly bad
- Thread starter Butch
- Start date
1.Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would go up to a bank teller with a mask on and ask for money.
2. 2019: You see a man in a store wearing a mask and think you are in danger.
2020: you see a man in a store not wearing a mask in a store and think you are in danger.
3.Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!
4. Just asked a 6-year-old if he understands why there is no school. He said yes because they are out of toilet paper.
5.After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my home but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
6. If you thought toilet paper was crazy ... just wait until 300 million people all want a haircut appointment. (Lots of truth in this one, pedicures and manicures will be the same.)
7. 2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.
8. Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19 but to stop eating.
9. This cleaning with alcohol is total BS. NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.
10.Kinda’ starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the door opens.
11.My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in the bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world!
12.Whoever owes you money, go to their house now. They should be home.
13.Is your car getting 3 weeks per gallon now? Mine is.
14.It’s like being 16 again, gas is cheap and I’m grounded.
15.Low gas prices during the lock down is like a bald man winning a hairbrush.
16.“All those grandparents who are missing their grandkids now—once this over you can have them for a month.
Sincerely, a tired Mom.”
17.The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors.
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
18. And just like that, our pastor became a televangelist.
19. Can we uninstall 2020?
This version has a virus.
20. Mom, is that offer to slap me into next year still on the table?”
21. Powerball is up to an 18 pack of Charmin.
22. Let’s not tell some people when quarantine is over.
23. I’ve been trying to make hand sanitizer but it keeps coming out rum and Coke.
2. 2019: You see a man in a store wearing a mask and think you are in danger.
2020: you see a man in a store not wearing a mask in a store and think you are in danger.
3.Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!
4. Just asked a 6-year-old if he understands why there is no school. He said yes because they are out of toilet paper.
5.After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my home but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
6. If you thought toilet paper was crazy ... just wait until 300 million people all want a haircut appointment. (Lots of truth in this one, pedicures and manicures will be the same.)
7. 2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.
8. Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19 but to stop eating.
9. This cleaning with alcohol is total BS. NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.
10.Kinda’ starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the door opens.
11.My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in the bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world!
12.Whoever owes you money, go to their house now. They should be home.
13.Is your car getting 3 weeks per gallon now? Mine is.
14.It’s like being 16 again, gas is cheap and I’m grounded.
15.Low gas prices during the lock down is like a bald man winning a hairbrush.
16.“All those grandparents who are missing their grandkids now—once this over you can have them for a month.
Sincerely, a tired Mom.”
17.The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors.
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
18. And just like that, our pastor became a televangelist.
19. Can we uninstall 2020?
This version has a virus.
20. Mom, is that offer to slap me into next year still on the table?”
21. Powerball is up to an 18 pack of Charmin.
22. Let’s not tell some people when quarantine is over.
23. I’ve been trying to make hand sanitizer but it keeps coming out rum and Coke.
:laughing
Abacinator
Unholy Blasphemies
Damn
Abacinator
Unholy Blasphemies
m0t0_ryder
RYD!
She Spread Like Covid -by- Scuzz Twitty
If you know Scuzz Twitty then you know---> Warning... NSFW or children!
youtu.be/BkwjjMiHoCI
If you know Scuzz Twitty then you know---> Warning... NSFW or children!
youtu.be/BkwjjMiHoCI