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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness...

Skaggs/Stewards Point, the goaty stuff after the bridge heading west. County out yesterday morn patching potholes, using shovels, no broom or tamping/rollers, leaving the surface loose. I thought I was "enjoying" first tracks thru the mess and was rewarded with the sighting of the purps. I...

I'm rolling on 505 heading into Vacaville posted 70 mph. Two CHP cruisers on a frontage road punched it to pace me, I slowed from 73 to 65 and watched them. Posted speed limit is 40 on their two lane road with businesses and traffic. They had to have been going way faster just to close & pace...

An Afghan , an Arab , And an Australian Sheila are In the same bar. When the Afghan Finishes his beer, He throws his glass In the air, pulls Out His pistol, and Shoots The glass To pieces. He says, 'In Afghanistan , Our glasses are so Cheap we don't need To drink with the Same one twice.'...

As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM Eastern time all Australian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour...

I was bartending one night last winter, it was fairly slow as it was cold and rainy. I had done a good job cleaning up the bar early and was waiting for last call to turn off the lights when a man in his 40's steps in. I ask him what he would like to drink and he says, "I'll have ten shots of...

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for...

This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. "This is a nice place. I've never been here before," he says to the guy next to him. "Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It's also...

http://www.dpccars.com/motorcycle-11/03-24-11page-Motorcycle-Falls-Off-A-Car-On-The-Highway.htm

So a few years ago I used to work in Southern California. One day after driving all over the damn place for work I stop in at my local pub for a pint. This pub isn't exactly high falutin', it's a dive. I walk in and sit down, order my beer and have a chug of it then look down the bar and there...

The Pope was having a shower. Although he is very strict about the Celibacy rules, he occasionally felt the need to exercise the right wrist, and this was one of these occasions. Just as he reached the Papal Climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the holy seed flying through the...

Understanding Engineers- one Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike...

ATD - At The Doctor's BFF - Best Friend Fell BTW - Bring The Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth CBM - Covered By Medicare CUATSC - See You At The Senior Center DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWB - Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW - Forgot Where I Was FYI - Found Your Insulin GGLKI - Gotta Go...

7 degrees of Blonde FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I...

Judge Judy to Prostitute: "When did you realize you were raped?" Prostitute (wiping away tears): "When the check bounced."

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly...

Obama & Oprah Flying on "Air Force One", Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten...

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am...

> In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The > question was where do > women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct > answer is Africa . > > > I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new > children's iPod > after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good...

Out in rural Bullhead City there is a rock formation known to locals as Finger rock. pix 1 better definition but up a sand wash. ATV riders gave me the snub because I was wrestling the hyper too slow for them in the wash. pix 2 off a jeep road. So, Merry Winter Solstice and a Happy Julian New...