Three immigrants, having recently emigrated to New York city find themselves in a bar together and are adjusting to their new home. The Russian strikes up a conversation with the other two, feeling nostalgic about his homeland.
"In St. Petersburg, I used to go to bar called Crazy Ivan's. At Crazy Ivans, after every 3rd drink you buy, Ivan give you shot of Vodka on ze house." The other two comrades nodded in approval.
The Italian spoke next. "Well datsa nice, but in Firenze we hada bar called Guiseppe's. Atta Guiseppe's, whena you buy a drink, Guiseppe woulda buy you a drink every time." Again, his fellows nodded approvingly.
Now the Irishman spoke. "Well boyos, now that amateur hour's over, let's talk about Murphy's in Dublin. When you go to Murphy's, they'll buy your first drink, they'll buy your second drink, they'll buy your third drink, and when ya tire of drinkin', they'll take you out in the back and get you laid!"
Astonished, the Russian and Italian ask the Irishman, "That's incredible! What're we doing here in NY when we could be drinking there? Did that actually happen to you?!"
"Nah," the Irishman says. "But it happened to me sister!"